Dear Uncle Moyes

Dear uncle David,

I hope all is well with you and your family. And I hope you are as excited to start your new job as I am excited to watch you do it!

First things first, let me wish you the best of everything in this new challenge. It is definitely the biggest challenge of your career but if anybody can take over after Grandpa Alex, that person is none other than you.

I saw your 2013/2014 tasks. From the first five I can say, you need all the support you can get! That is your chance to show that you will not be bullied around by the so called big Five!

Chelsea are coming home and only one dream comes true at the Theater of Dreams and we all know whose dreams! Show Liverpool why we are THE Red Devils and paint Manchester Red, starting from Etihad. On the Etihad task, please uncle we can not start a season with noises, please uncle David shut those Noisy neighbors up!

I know how every grown up say they were always first in class, if Grandpa Alex told you this, that old man lied! It took him six seasons to come first. Moral of this story is, it is not how you start it is how you do, continue doing and how you end your Manchester United stay.

Me and the rest of the family got your back. We are 110% behind you. if we retain the EPL it will be great, FA will be sensational, Capital One will be okay and please warn us now if you are going to win Champions League, we don't wanna loose anybody to heart attacks!

But, if worse comes to worst and we end with nothing we will still stand behind you. We know you can do this and you will do this, win us trophies and make us proud and we are willing to wait.

If I was your boss, I would give you a three seasons probation. Don't ask me why Grandpa Alex had six and you have three, grandpa Alex was new to Division One and you have at least 10years of experience in Premier League. And not to mention you having champions for players! So, being me I will review your performance after your three seasons probation, which is right after 2015/2016 season.

If I can tell you a few things Uncle David, please and please do not give in to Jose's mind games! And you already know Arsene is not as scary as he looks!

Lastly, I know my birthday is in December but if I can make an early birthday wish; will you please sign Thiago Alcantara? Can we please keep Wayne Rooney too?

Talk to you soon Uncle David.

XOXO,
@Zamaradi_M

Tumfunge Paka Kengele

By: @Zamaradi_M

Kuna hadithi nilihadithiwa wakati nakua. Nje kidogo ya kijiji ambacho wakazi wake wote walikuwa panya kulikuwa na paka ameweka makazi. Paka yule aliwavizia panya nyakati za usiku na kuwala. Panya wakafanya kikao na katika majadiliano wakaona njia ya kupambana na adui yao ni kumfunga kengele, ili akiwa karibu basi wamsikie. Ila, nani atamfunga paka kengele?

Kwenye hili janga la madawa ya kulevya linaloikumba nchi yetu, lazima huyu paka tumfunge kengele. Tatizo ni kwamba, akienda panya mmoja tu ni rahisi kugeuzwa mlo. Ila tukiwa wengi, hata kama wengine tutakuwa mlo tutashinda vita. Tutaacha kijiji chetu kikiwa salama, ndio ushujaa huu tuliokuwa tunauimba enzi zile za mchakamchaka.

Suala la madawa ya kulevya! Tofauti na matatizo mengine ambayo hata pa kuanzia hamna, hili liko waziwazi. Waathirika tunawaita mateja, wamejaa karibu kila kituo cha daladala Dar es Salaam, vijiwe vyao vinajulikana kabisa. Na ukiwaona wala huhitaji teknolojia ya hali wa juu kuwatambua, wana alama zao usoni. Waangalie vizuri midomo na wasikilize wakipiga debe!

Kwa machache tu niliyoyaona kwenye filamu za kipelelezi najua kupata mwanzo mzuri kama huo ni ishara ya kuwa na kesi itakayofika mwisho. Tunashindwa nini kuanzia hapo? Tunashindwa nini kufuata huo mnyororo mpaka tukawafikia hao wahusika wakubwa? Na kama kisingizio ni wao kuwa na ushawishi na fedha nyingi basi huo ni udhaifu kwa serikali yetu.

Naelewa vyema kwamba hatuwezi kumaliza vita dhidi ya madawa ya kulevya kwa asilimia mia moja, ila hali mbaya kwa sasa. Tupunguze kwa hizo asilimia tutakazoweza. Na hata kama wataendelea kuuza na kutumia basi iwe kwa siri. Hii hali ya mateja kuwepo hadharani ni kashfa kubwa sana kwa serikali na wahusika wote.

Kweli tumefikia hatua ya watu kuvunja sheria bila uoga? Nani asiyejua kwamba kuuza na kutumia madawa ya kulevya ni kosa? Kwa hiyo anayetumia na kuonesha kwamba anatumia ni kwamba anaikebehi serikali, jeshi la polisi na kila aliye kwenye vita dhidi ya madawa ya kulevya? Ni kama vile wanatuambia, 'Ndio nauza na natumia, unasemaje sasa?'

Na suala lingine, kumekuwa na habari kuhusu watanzania waliokamatwa nje ya nchi wakisafirisha madawa ya kulevya. Kulikuwa na yule dada aliyekuwa anyongwe, niliacha kufuatilia baada ya kuona picha yake na mwanae kwenye sintah.com. Na pia kuna kaka ambaye amehukumiwa kwenda jela miaka nane nchini Angola na hii nimeiona kwa millardayo. Huyu aliyeko Angola anaomba arudishwe Tanzania kwa sababu mazingira ya Angola ni magumu.

Tuweke hisia pembeni, hawa wanaosafirisha madawa ya kulevya wanafanya hivyo kwa faida zao binafsi, na  hata kodi hawalipi! Leo amekamatwa serikali iingilie kati, itumie kodi zetu ili warudishwe nchini! Na mbaya zaidi eti mazingira ya jela za kule ni mabaya! Samahani, kama nina maamuzi na kodi yangu naomba isitumike huku. Anayetaka basi atoe hela yake. Angefanikiwa kufikisha huo mzigo angefaidika yeye na familia na rafiki zake, basi na wamsaidie sasa.

Na angefanikiwa kufikisha huo mzigo, ungeua na kutesa vijana wangapi? Huo mzigo anaouleta yeye ndio unasababisha tukwapuliwe vijipochi na visimu vyetu kila siku! Tunaishi bila amani. Tunapoteza nguvu kazi ya taifa kwa sababu tu kuna watu wachache wanataka maisha mazuri na ya harakaharaka. Hata mimi nayatamani ila najua hatari yake, sio tu kwangu bali kwa mwanangu, ndugu jamaa na marafiki. Ndio maana nimeamua kutokuwa mbinafsi na kutafuta hela yangu kihalali. Kwa nini nilipe kwa makosa na maamuzi ya watu wengine?

Sikubaliani na adhabu ya kifo, kwa hili kodi yangu itumike. Itumike kuokoa maisha ya huyo muhalifu. Na kama atarudishwa nchini, awekwe jela ikibidi kifungo cha maisha.

Ni wakati sasa kila mtu awajibike kwa makosa yake. Tuache kuoneana aibu na kuoneana huruma zisizo na sababu. Kuna msemo wa kizungu unasema you've made your bed, now you'll have to lie in it (Umetandika mwenyewe kitanda chako, itabidi ukilalie). Sasa kama hukutoa wale kunguni hilo halituhusu.

Haya, nani yuko tayari kumfunga paka kengele?

Nimeandika makala hii kama njia ya kumuenzi Langa. Moja ya vipaji adimu tulivyobahatika kuvishuhudia. Mpaka mauti yanamkuta Langa ambaye alikiri kuwa muathirika wa madawa ya kulevya alikuwa katika vita dhidi ya kilevi hicho hatari.

Tangulia Langa, tupo nyuma yako.

Chase the good life but ...

 By: @Zamaradi_M

I am writing this to Tanisha, my little nephews and nieces, the young girls and boys all over the world and to anyone who can listen.

I am also writing this for me. A reminder to myself and a reference point for my child in case I do not live long enough to remind her.

I want you to have a good life. I want you to be anything you want to be. And I mean it; you can be a pilot, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a chef, a singer, or a house wife. Anything, as long as it is what makes you happy.

But before you become any of those, be a good person. Be an honest person. Learn to apologize and most of all, learn to forgive.

Be the person, who before crossing the road will look around to see if there is a child, an elder or anybody else they can help to the other side.

Be the person that is late for a plane but will still drive slow to avoid splashing dirty water on pedestrians.

Be the person that will smile to a stranger, make kids laugh and elders feel safe, loved and valued.

Be the person that I will be proud of, me and all of humanity.

Be that person first and foremost. Be that person before and during your journey as you are chasing the good life. Be that person when you are living that good life.

That is the person you should always be. That is the person who might not always go to bed with a smile or hiding under heavy blankets as the air conditioning is blasting, but that is the person who will have the most peaceful sleep.

That might not be a person with an army of followers dressing as friends but that is a person with friends that would take a bullet for her/him. That is the person people respect and truly appreciates.

Be that person, that good, honest and kind person before you become anybody else. That is the person, I as a mother and any other parent would wish their children to be.

I will tell you a little secret. This good life that everybody is so crazy about is super overrated. It is mostly a show off!

Just think, a car is meant to take you to places faster than your legs or a bicycle or a motorcycle, then why should it matter what make it is? Or how much it costs?

Or why should you pay more for a mobile phone just because it is slimmer than a previous version?

Chase the good life, get the good life, live the good live, but NEVER at any stage should you stop being a good person. Never!

Have principles, have your limits, draw a line between the can and can never do's, and stay on the can do's side of that line, forever.

Make mistakes just don't make the mistake of putting the good life as your number one priority. It is not worth it. Love, happiness, family, friends and most of all life itself if worth more than the good life.

Be wise, be kind, be loving, be caring, be emotional, be a good person. Be a person humanity will be proud of.

Stick to this and you will testify to the fact that good people have a better life than bad people with all the wealthy in the world!

With Love,
Zama.


PS: I did not do editing in this because I want it to be as original as possible. Kindly ignore the writing crimes committed.

The Struggles of a Customer

By: @Zamaradi_M

I am one of those customers who are referred to as difficult customers. And it's an honor to be called that. I am earning my money the hard way, if I spend it I definitely want what's worth my money.

As every other human being I am a customer. A customer to so many companies and small businesses. From Mangi dukani to Ustaadh gengeni to Vodacom and Zantel all the way to Stanbic, Banc ABC and Standard Chartered.

But I hate being a customer! If celebs hire stylists I wish I could hire someone to represent me to all my service providers! Growing up I thought Mathematics was the most difficult course but now I thank God I did not opt for Customer services. The way customer service reps work, I think theirs must be the most difficult course. Like, did any of them get at least a D-?

Mangi dukani, I come first. Wait in line as a good customer that I am, then out of nowhere comes a smoker, cuts the line and you serve him first! Seriously? I guess smoking is an emergence!

Ustaadh gendeni, I am cooking and I realize that I need to get something quickly. I run to gengeni with my mismatching ndala and what do you do, ask me to wait when you talk with your buddy on the phone!

Telecoms! Where do I start with you? That famous solution from your call center agents; 'tafadhali fika ofisini kwa msaada zaidi.' You realize that we all have jobs to keep enh? The problem is not with my device, why do I need to come to your office?

I have worked as a call center agent for almost two years and when we get to this point, let's just say somebody is having a shitty day already, and that somebody's name does not start with Z!

Then, my dearest banks! From paying TZS. 40,000 just to get a 6 months bank statement (do you manually make statements or just print from the system?) to keeping me on hold for five good minutes. You know I am paying for that call enh?

My inspiration for this piece came from my bank (Thank you). I reported a problem since morning and was told it was resolved only to go check now and find out it was not! I finished my 20 minutes of Cheka Nao screaming! I asked the customer care rep to call me back as I could not afford even one more minute today. It is 1530hrs and I am sitting here patiently waiting. Banks close at 1530hrs.

I don't wanna wait in vain for your call....

UPDATE:

It is 31st May and I did not receive that call but checked and my problem is resolved. If that customer care rep called he would probably get a big shout out. His loss anyways...

Will I die for my country?

By: @Zamaradi_M

On our way to work with some colleagues we were talking about the current events. And nothing is more 'current' now than the Mtwara unrests. When it comes to politics I am just a tiny step above those who still believe that Mwalimu Nyerere is the president of this beautiful nation.

My point is, I do not know the political side of this issue or of any issue for that matter. What I have heard is that the citizens of Mtwara are protesting against the government's decision to build a gas pipe that will transfer gas from Mtwara to DSM where it will be processed.

These protests went as far as burning government buildings, torching cars that are owned by the government employees (I hope their insurance covers this) and worst of all people have lost their lives and some keep endangering their lives. This got me questioning, if it comes down to it, will I willingly die for my country? Will YOU willingly die for your country?

Depends, if they take all corrupt politicians and put them in one stadium (I am not sure they can fit anywhere else) I will happily wear a bomb and go with them. But wait, we can just put the bomb in the stadium, close the doors and save one good person. As Devi would say, why should bad things happen to good people?

And make no mistake though, if the country is invaded and I have to fight to save lives, I will fight.

May be I am a coward, a traitor, a disgrace to this lovely nation, but if I am to be honest, I will not die for my country. Besides, the after life freaks me out!

I respect the people who will and who have lost their lives in the names of their countries. I admire their courage and their unselfishness.

I think of dying for my country and I ask myself, who will take care of Mama Mkilalu? Will my fellow patriots look after my 3years old Tanisha? Will this country that I died for make sure she gets a decent education and a chance to a better life?

And then I ask again, what will my death accomplish? Will it be just another statistic? Will those corrupt leaders resign, or better yet commit suicide because I died for my country?

So. all these questions whose answers we will never know got me saying NO to dying for my country. It is just too much of a risk. I love my country. Instead of dying for it I'd rather stay alive and fight.

Why don't we go to school, study whatever it is we need to study and fight for our country in the safest way possible. And if we have to protest why don't we do it in a way that we will all stay alive long enough to see our children grow up and our parents enjoy their uzee?

Call me selfish and all the names you can think of but if I have a say in it, I will not die for my country kwa kweli. I just don't see the point. 

Clash of the Generations...

By; @Zamaradi_M

 

I have this lovely Mama Mkubwa who has retired and is now working for a private firm. We were not very close before but we are now what people say super tight. We are each other's shosti even with almost 40years age difference. 

Well enough with dolidoli. So, we were talking and me being the planner and dreamer I always am I told her that if I have it my way I would like to be able to retire by 35, meaning if I will be working it will be for the love of my job but not for financial dependence to my employer.

She was proud and went on telling me about her friend who was told by her daughter that she is working past her retirement age because she did not plan her life well enough. (I swear I am not the daughter!)

So, we talked and talked talked. And the two generations of Mlege came to agree that it was not easy for the retirees to plan an early retirement in those days as opportunities were very limited. The only things people could do was work for a government, or a private company if they can find any and the very lucky ones made it into politics.

That was their curse, there were no enough opportunities.

Come to this generation, millions and millions of opportunities. People are employed yet own businesses that sometimes make even more than their salaries. And let us not talk of those who double/triple their salaries while working no overtimes and exceeding no targets, we reserve them for another day!

So we are blessed with opportunities, Thanks to the Almighty.

But our curse is, we know no loyalty, we have no respect for friendship and we don't even value family! How many of us have been betrayed by their friends? How many of us have been conned by our very own relatives? How many of us have lost money just because our decision was based in trusting the information from a person close to us gave?

Now, we hear stories of shop owners in Zanzibar who would leave their shops unlocked for almost 30 minutes and go to the mosque to come back to the exact same shop they left! (WARNING: Don't try this anywhere.)

We hear stories of people who worked under one company for more than 40 years! (This is my second job/company in 4 years.)

We hear stories of friends who cut themselves to mix their bloods just to show how deep their friendship is! (Don't try this now, unless your Doctor approves).

Those are now just stories. Stories I wish I lived to see!

So, we might retire at 35 but we will get there with no friends and no family. Our emotions will be so played with that we will not even trust our own children and the poor kids will probably be below 15!.

And sadly, we might not even live long enough to be 35. We just have to stay out of people's ways, people we are not even aware of their existence, because nowadays killing and harming another human being to protect one's interest seems like an okay thing.

You are still working at 60+ but I could trade places and live in that era where there was loyalty, true friendship and relatives were your last line of defense, I will do the trade in the blink of an eye!

Why We Love Cesc Fabregas

By: @Zamaradi_M

 5. He is strong

 

 4. He is flexible

 

 

3. He doesn't party like a rock star, he parties like Cesc the Fab 

with a lollipop and juice at 1AM!

2. He is so cool that he can autograph even Ozil's shirt, with a smile!

 

1. The only healthy person we know that takes a nap after 11hrs of sleep!