Pages

Showing posts with label Letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letters. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Dear Suarez

Dear Luis,

I know you are well.

First, I want you to know that never in my entire life did I ever thought I would write to you. I do not like you and I do not like the club you are playing for. But then, I also do not like keeping things inside as I have a very small body, so I have to limit the amount of things I can store in me or I will overload it. 

And the quote by Dr. Iqbal on how you reminded him when it was time to break fast, that just put you in my People I like but I should not like list.

Okay, let's go straight to business.

This thing of you leaving Liverpool, Why? Okay, I know why. You said you want a fresh start and you want to be as far away from British media as possible because apparently they hate don't like you. (hate is a strong word, no?)

Luis, a lot of people don't like you. And if you want to play where you are liked a part from Liverpool, brother you are going to have a difficult time finding that place.

British media doesn't need to not like you to write whatever they write about you. You pretty much create your own stories and don't even give them a chance to add or remove anything as you always make sure there are as many witnesses as possible. They just report, that's it.

And during the PFA Awards, was that British media booing you? Because what we heard it was your fellow footballers! It is that bad.

And that thing you did against Ghana! You were being a patriot in your own wicked way but you just crushed millions of Africans dreams and disgust everyone who appreciates fair play. I for one, hated disliked you for that, still do.

Luis, you tend to make people dislike you. That's all on you. And the very kind Liverpool fans like you, they really do because despite every crime you have committed against humanity (too much?) they still stand behind you. They still defend you. And some, who I will never understand even have your photo for their their avis like my good friend @The_Waria! And the club has always stood by your side, for worse and for the worst!

That kind of committed club and especially supporters you will not get ANYWHERE else. You go to another club, you'll just be another expensive player and they will demand you deliver in the first three matches or you'll be called all kind of names. Just ask Torres on this one. You can start well but the minute it doesn't go in their preferred way, they'll still come after you and with the help of angry Liverpool fans who did not appreciate you leaving them high and dry.

Let me ask you this, if Torres stayed at Liverpool and had one or two bad seasons, do you think he'll be judged as he has been at Chelsea? If Ronaldo submitted a transfer request accusing the club of lacking ambition and then stayed, would Madridistas be as forgiving as Red Devils have been with Rooney? 

You get my idea? If you have any other reason, I wish you the best in your new club. But if you are leaving because the English media doesn't like you, please don't make that mistake. Right now you have Liverpool fans and club on your corner, leave and you'll have nobody on your corner. We have seen these things happen and they sure ain't pretty!

Good luck Luis and enjoy your vacation.

Regards,
Zama. (And yes, you don't know me).

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Dear Uncle Moyes

Dear uncle David,

I hope all is well with you and your family. And I hope you are as excited to start your new job as I am excited to watch you do it!

First things first, let me wish you the best of everything in this new challenge. It is definitely the biggest challenge of your career but if anybody can take over after Grandpa Alex, that person is none other than you.

I saw your 2013/2014 tasks. From the first five I can say, you need all the support you can get! That is your chance to show that you will not be bullied around by the so called big Five!

Chelsea are coming home and only one dream comes true at the Theater of Dreams and we all know whose dreams! Show Liverpool why we are THE Red Devils and paint Manchester Red, starting from Etihad. On the Etihad task, please uncle we can not start a season with noises, please uncle David shut those Noisy neighbors up!

I know how every grown up say they were always first in class, if Grandpa Alex told you this, that old man lied! It took him six seasons to come first. Moral of this story is, it is not how you start it is how you do, continue doing and how you end your Manchester United stay.

Me and the rest of the family got your back. We are 110% behind you. if we retain the EPL it will be great, FA will be sensational, Capital One will be okay and please warn us now if you are going to win Champions League, we don't wanna loose anybody to heart attacks!

But, if worse comes to worst and we end with nothing we will still stand behind you. We know you can do this and you will do this, win us trophies and make us proud and we are willing to wait.

If I was your boss, I would give you a three seasons probation. Don't ask me why Grandpa Alex had six and you have three, grandpa Alex was new to Division One and you have at least 10years of experience in Premier League. And not to mention you having champions for players! So, being me I will review your performance after your three seasons probation, which is right after 2015/2016 season.

If I can tell you a few things Uncle David, please and please do not give in to Jose's mind games! And you already know Arsene is not as scary as he looks!

Lastly, I know my birthday is in December but if I can make an early birthday wish; will you please sign Thiago Alcantara? Can we please keep Wayne Rooney too?

Talk to you soon Uncle David.

XOXO,
@Zamaradi_M