How to make Rooney happy in one simpe step.

This is Rooney celebrating a title. But this here is Rooney collecting a medal.

This is Rooney celebrating a goal, this here, well, this is sad.

This is Rooney on the bench. This here, just another sad, sad image.

If not a team mate, a big little brother to look after.

Or someone to catch him when he jumps.

Not everybody can understand about these good ol' days unless they were there.

You get it now, don't you? You want Rooney happy? Simple, Bring back Cris!

If not for Rooney then for me, I don't think I can take another episode of this! Too sad.

Why We Love: Sergio Ramos

1. He is so awesome that he can talk to a ball!

EID MUBARAK!

Why We Love David Luiz

5. Here he is signing a new contract September, 2012. Who else can sign a contract like this?

4. He brings out The David Luiz in everybody around him!

 

3. Ah, that hair! *sigh*

2. A very good liar. If you want to frame somebody, be it for murder or a red card, he is your guy!

 1. What's not to love about a guy who is emotional and aint afraid to show it?

BONUS: He has some sort of connection with kids. Could it be may be kids get him?

 

 

Badge Kissing and Club Loving

Today I will talk about one of my favorite people in the world, footballers!

Let me start from the beginning. Do you know how much these people are making from ads? They make a lot! Sometimes, and I mean most of the times they make more from ads than what they make from their salaries. And a salary for an average player will be around £100,000 per week! If you have any doubts just ask yourself; how could Becks donate ALL of his PSG salary?

See how endorsement deals are important? Now we come to their images and followers. You don't get these endorsements unless you have an image to sell and followers who will listen and buy if you tell them to. Image is easy, all it takes is some commitment in the gym with those weights, good behavior in public and a good PR team. 

Do you believe Cristiano is the cocky, selfish SOB the media say he is? Spend some time on blogs and websites that are loyal to him and you will change your mind. Is Messi really the innocent, humble, kind footballer of them all? Don't search any further, same loyal Cris' fans will give you the dirty on Messi that will leave you confused!

Now about followers, and I am not talking Twitter followers here! These are the fans that will support a player regardless of what team they are playing for. And these are the people that dictate what deals you are getting and how big they are.

Followers are Arsenal fans who stay up past mid night watching Barcelona just for a promise of seeing Fabregas play. Followers are the fans who now knows even the bench warmers at Real Madrid because since Ronaldo signed for them, they haven't missed a match. 

I am also a follower in this case, no shame in admitting that. And some of the players I follow haven't even played for Manchester United! I follow Torres (yes, Nando), Chicha, De Gea, Ramos, Rafael da Silva, Ibrahimovic, Evra, Berbatov, Oscar (Chelsea and Brazil), Fabregas, David Luiz (who is on probation for the Rafael's incident). My list is way too long.

These followers translate to £ £ £ £ to our dear footballers. With them moving clubs for bigger salaries, threaten to move if clubs don't up their pay, is there anything they wouldn't do for followers?

And that has made the badge kissing and club loving generation! 

A footballer kisses a badge on Saturday, requests transfer on Sunday, sold at midnight on Sunday and on Monday he is holding a press conference declaring that his new club has been his dream club since he was six days old!

Badge kissing and club loving is all business today. We were lucky to have the likes of Carragher, Lampard, Raul, Casillas, Steven Gerrard, Puyol, Xavi, Gary Neville, Scholes, Giggs etc. Let us cherish these men who are still playing, hold on to the memories of those who retired and not force these role models on our current players.

A special shout out to the Baby faced Assassin Ole Gunnar Solskjaer who happily embraced his Super Sub status in his early 20s. Manchester United accepted Tottenham Hotspurs bid in 1998 which will guarantee him more play time and more zeros on his pay cheque but the player refused and chose to stay with MUFC. Now that's some true loving. Ole can spend his whole career not kissing a badge or saying he loves the club and we'll all know that he loves MUFC.

So, Wayne Rooney can sign for Chelsea and I wouldn't loose a tiny bit of my sleep over that. Fabregas can sign for Manchester United and I wouldn't question his loyalty. Suarez can stay at Liverpool and blame shetani mbaya alimpitia  and I wouldn't mind if I was a Liverpool fan. 

They can kiss the badge all they want but they are not fooling me. They can declare their love for club all they want but I am not believing isht. You love the club, do something that will make a statement, don't just kiss the badge or say you love the club. I would kiss Liverpool's badge for the right price, with a smile!

So, that's me with the badge kissing and club loving ballers.

Cheers.....

How much for being real and honest?

If I had a dollar for everytime I hear or read Be Real I will be playing golf with Bill Gates after being coached by Tiger Woods!

If I had TZS 1 for everytime I hear or read Be Honest I will be booking Nas for my birthday!

Those are the things people say. Nice things, that if we could listen and actually do life would be so much better! Imagine living life where each one of your secrets is not yours to bear alone. You have a friend or a family member to openly talk to.

Imagine life where you live freely being you. No pretending, no acting, just you! I would gladly give up a golf match with Bill, every single training session with Tiger and Nas' performance on my birthday for that life.

And by the way, when people tell you be real and be honest, DON'T! They are just playing with you. Be real and you'll be judged and ridiculed, be honest and you will be laughed at and become a joke.

It's sad but that's exactly where we are now. If you can not afford an expensive phone, make sure no one sees that cheap Chinese hiPhone of yours. If you can not afford a 50K ticket to The Finest, pretend to be sick or just flat out become Team Anaconda! Just do whatever you have to do to keep that to yourself!

There was a time when people took pride in saving money by living modest. Buying things at the cheapest price possible. That's not the case anymore, the more zeros in a price tag the better, and we will make it our mission that everybody knows how much we paid and the will never find out whose money we paid with or how we earned that money.

Can you imagine the word cheap is now an insult? How many times have we heard, or even say; You are so cheap! You smell so cheap! That dress looks so cheap!

And honest. Now that's even more dangerous! If your stories do not become a joke for when 'friends' get together then it will be used against you. There are people who will truly be interested in knowing you, just knowing you. Too bad, this endangered specie do not have a mark on their faces.

And then we have another group, who wants to know you for their own benefits. Know your weaknesses and strengths so they can use them against you. Too bad that this group is taking over the world and like the previous one, they are not marked.

Life has become a game. You have to be smart. You can be real and honest, just not with everyone. How do you know who to be real and honest with? Let us know when you do, am sure if you write a book on that it will definitely be a best seller (Can I pre-order?)!

Or you can be real and honest always, and it will cost you! Are you ready to pay for being real and honest? Do you even know the price?

Dear Suarez

Dear Luis,

I know you are well.

First, I want you to know that never in my entire life did I ever thought I would write to you. I do not like you and I do not like the club you are playing for. But then, I also do not like keeping things inside as I have a very small body, so I have to limit the amount of things I can store in me or I will overload it. 

And the quote by Dr. Iqbal on how you reminded him when it was time to break fast, that just put you in my People I like but I should not like list.

Okay, let's go straight to business.

This thing of you leaving Liverpool, Why? Okay, I know why. You said you want a fresh start and you want to be as far away from British media as possible because apparently they hate don't like you. (hate is a strong word, no?)

Luis, a lot of people don't like you. And if you want to play where you are liked a part from Liverpool, brother you are going to have a difficult time finding that place.

British media doesn't need to not like you to write whatever they write about you. You pretty much create your own stories and don't even give them a chance to add or remove anything as you always make sure there are as many witnesses as possible. They just report, that's it.

And during the PFA Awards, was that British media booing you? Because what we heard it was your fellow footballers! It is that bad.

And that thing you did against Ghana! You were being a patriot in your own wicked way but you just crushed millions of Africans dreams and disgust everyone who appreciates fair play. I for one, hated disliked you for that, still do.

Luis, you tend to make people dislike you. That's all on you. And the very kind Liverpool fans like you, they really do because despite every crime you have committed against humanity (too much?) they still stand behind you. They still defend you. And some, who I will never understand even have your photo for their their avis like my good friend @The_Waria! And the club has always stood by your side, for worse and for the worst!

That kind of committed club and especially supporters you will not get ANYWHERE else. You go to another club, you'll just be another expensive player and they will demand you deliver in the first three matches or you'll be called all kind of names. Just ask Torres on this one. You can start well but the minute it doesn't go in their preferred way, they'll still come after you and with the help of angry Liverpool fans who did not appreciate you leaving them high and dry.

Let me ask you this, if Torres stayed at Liverpool and had one or two bad seasons, do you think he'll be judged as he has been at Chelsea? If Ronaldo submitted a transfer request accusing the club of lacking ambition and then stayed, would Madridistas be as forgiving as Red Devils have been with Rooney? 

You get my idea? If you have any other reason, I wish you the best in your new club. But if you are leaving because the English media doesn't like you, please don't make that mistake. Right now you have Liverpool fans and club on your corner, leave and you'll have nobody on your corner. We have seen these things happen and they sure ain't pretty!

Good luck Luis and enjoy your vacation.

Regards,
Zama. (And yes, you don't know me).